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My suggestion is a dress with heels, sexy but elegant, not too revealing and but still subtly sexy. During that first meet, have fun of course but focus on the key questions which are: do I want to see him again? It is very important that you show your interest if it is there. Though men like to make the first move, if it feels right, you can lean in and initiate it. Most men also like a chase and the tantalizing prospect of great things to come.

It makes a big difference to a man to know he is wanted. So, take it a bit slower and enjoy each sexual step and the delicious discovery of each other.

Don’t be too sexual or explicit unless you are looking for something very short term. Once an initial contact is made through the site, exchange a few light hearted emails but be sure to talk on the phone soon.

That phone conversation is critically important for both of you to determine if there is phone chemistry, and to be specific and direct about what you are looking for.

Delayed gratification really is a good thing and you will keep your men much longer that way. In general, remember these mostly true generalizations about men: A.

A man’s ego is much more fragile than those of a woman’s, and they need to be stroked and supported. Not only are men much less intuitive than women, but they also much less present and observant. Despite the appearance of a powerful, confident man, most men really do want that close, intimate, vulnerable experience, but they are afraid of it and need it to happen gently and gradually. Back off, don’t badger or nag and surely don’t criticize without it being posed in strong constructive and positive words.

You want to make sure your goals are in line before meeting and possibly wasting each other’s time.

First impressions for men are HUGE and only happen once. Otherwise, if you really do like him, make sure you send non verbal indications as well: small repetitive touches to his arms, extended eye to eye contact, welcoming smiles, hints about another date, etc. Show him with both physical and non verbal cues that you want him to kiss you. Having sex on the first date means most men assume you do that a lot, and that is a turnoff.

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If you do that well, you will have him for as long as you want! Healthy men want and need regular sex at least 3-4 times a week and if they aren’t having it with you, they will seek it elsewhere. Men are most definitely not mind readers and are, for the most part, clueless! Help bring them along that path with supportive encouraging action. Most men don’t like to be smothered, pushed or controlled. Want to learn more about the author of this post and his dating views?

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